I’m sitting here with so much to clean up. And an audition to work on (yay). And the conflicting desires to have a big glass of wine and do some yoga in the living room in an attempt to feel in shape, which is something I’m wondering if I’ll ever feel again.
And while I run through all of those and think about how I’ll divide up the hours before I go to bed–and I am going to try to get to bed early–my daughter is still the earliest riser I know–I’m drinking HERBS. If you’ve known me for a while you might guess what for. We’re kinda feeling ready for Baby #2.
However, instead of going to kundalini yoga and sleeping a luxurious amount to raise my qi and seeing an acupuncturist twice a week, I am wildly underslept, have a barely-existent yoga practice, and am giving a lot of my qi to my kid via my boobs. Because I have not weaned Luciana, and am in no rush to. Cut down significantly, yes! As of this week we pretty much dropped the pre-nap nursings and are now morning and before bed. So that should help.
I’m nervous, peeps! But guess what, me? I was nervous the first time. Terrified and convinced on certain days that it wasn’t going to happen. I admit that I hoped that this time would be easy–that my body would know what to do and would just do it–but looks like I’m still extra-sensitive me that needs all conditions perfect and some help from things that taste like drinking puddle water concentrate.
So here we go! I’m going to try to get to bed by 930 at least 3 days a week. I’ve gone back to the primarily gluten-and-sugar-free thing. Although I really really do want a glass of wine tonight and I probably will have one, for the most part I’m willing to let it stay on the shelf. And bottom line is I get to practice the kind of faith I had the first time. The belief that all happens in perfect timing and the fear I feel is of my own creation. I’m not who I was 2 1/2 years ago trying to get pregnant for the first time; so my journey to do it again won’t be either. The child will be different, and mothering 2 will be different.
It’s always so snuggly feeling to do the familiar. Feels so nice and safe when things are predictable. Ah well. Time to climb out from under the security blanket and don the adventure gear. Let the new one begin.
Meanwhile, here’s us today heading into a holiday photo shoot with one of the greats. Can’t wait to see the pics!