I made it back. As I write this, my suitcase has not, but I’m going to remain hopeful, and meanwhile, I’m with my daughter. That is far more important than having my favorite clothes and makeup and hair products and jewelry home with me.
The trip was extraordinary. If we’re Instagram friends you know this: the dreamlike scape of Mallorcan cliffs and sea, the extravagant events our friends hosted, the late nights and deep sleeps. I treasure that Sky and I had that time together, and that wrapped up with it were visits with some of our favorite people in one of Earth’s more magnificent places.
And it was so hard to be away from Luciana. I did not know what it was to miss someone like that. I never for a moment felt I made the wrong decision, but I had to pull make-up miracles on one of the nights because my eyes were puffy from shedding more tears.
I imagine I’m the only person ever to weep boarding a plane to Mallorca
She did great. My mom took care of her–and she and my mom are BIG fans of each other–, her babysitter came for her normal shift, and I did all I could to keep her world and routines as close to unchanged as possible. You saw the book I made for her; every day Mom and/or Carmen (aka babysitter from Heaven) added to it. They filled in what went on that day, how Luciana felt, things she said. I wrapped a present for her to open every night, and apparently most nights she took the Gift of the Day to bed with her.
I opted not to Skype….think it would have been too much for both of us….but we talked on the phone for a few minutes each day.
And then Sky and I came home. The day after our return she had more mini-tantrums than usual, and who can blame her? I have a feeling it took a lot of energy to navigate both parents gone, even with a narrative to help, and I think I would have fallen apart too when my mom came back. We’ve settled in now, and Sky and I get to witness leaps she took when we were gone. Her sentences are more elaborate, her imagination on fire. And we snuggle a lot. She’s been waking up extra early and wanting to sit in her chair and talk and cuddle and watch it get light outside, and we’ve been giving in. We can reinforce wakeup time in a few days.
What I learned from this: it was fine. Of course it was; we knew it would be; but still. And I don’t need to go away like that for a long long time. With baby 2 coming in just over 4 months, something tells me I won’t be having the chance to anyway:)
PS: I just got the news my bag made it to LAX.